Burn Baby Burn

This morning's love dare is about jealousy (of you spouse specifically). I have to confess that I had no idea that this existed until I spoke to a friend whose whole entire marriage was based on jealousy. She, unfortunately, is no longer married, but I was able to see how harmful this is in a marriage. God being the great Teacher has shown me how jealousy can and has crept into my marriage. For some reason, nobody in my house feels the need to sleep at night and when they wake they don't hesitate to scream out MY name. They need their blankets pulled up or a stuffed animal whose fallen on the floor, not to mention Bunny still nurses at least twice a night (a sure underestimation). So, after 2 nights of seeing every hour, my husband who took the day off yesterday and had the house to himself (prime sleep opportunity), informed me that as soon as he got home he would be taking a nap because he was exhausted. Anyone who knows me, knows that that went over like a lead balloon. But, this is a walk of thinking and behaving differently. I did lose it this morning, but I am finding it in my heart to forgive him and let it go. I need to find my own provision for sleep and not be jealous of his. Today's love dare is not only to burn the negative list we wrote yesterday, but also to join your spouse in celebrating a recent success. Today may be the most difficult yet because I need to get over myself first. God will prove Himself faithful.

Lists, Lists, Lists

I LOVE lists. I write at least one a day and probably have hundreds of them lying in the corners of my mind. Grocery lists, to do lists, not to do lists, bucket lists, prayer lists, lists of ideas, lists of potential baby names (just in case), the list goes on (heehee). Yesterday and today, the Love Dare involve lists. Day #6 asks for a list of areas in my life that need to add a margin to my schedule and any wrong motivations that need to be released from my life. So here it goes: Finances, Sleep, Patience, Joy & Fun. WRONG MOTIVATIONS: Insecurity, Anger, Rage, Impatience. I have learned that these wrong motivations affect the things I have to make room for in an ugly circle type way. As soon as I miss some much needed sleep, I allow Anger into my life, which robs me of my Patience and in turn my Joy and Fun which increases the Anger to a state of Rage. I need to make room for sleep in my life as well as Patience, Joy and Fun. I think I'll leave the Finances up to God. That's what He wants anyway. Day #7 asks for two lists. One about all the positive things you can think about your spouse, and one with all the negative things. These are to be on two separate sheets of white paper for a future use. I will not be sharing these lists for obvious reasons. This could prove to be interesting.

Annoying!?!? Who!??!?! Me!?!?!?

Day #5 of Love Dare tells us to ask our spouse to tell us three things that cause them to be uncomfortable or irritated with us. The key to this love dare is not to bug out and start telling them your list against them. So, in order to get this one accomplished I had to completely spill the beans to Sug about doing The Love Dare. He basically thought that I was trying to start some sort of argument or something and continued to tell me that he had no idea what I was talking about. "You don't make me uncomfortable or irritable." Finally, he asked me for 3 things that make me feel that way about him. Trust me coming up with three things was super easy, but it was just coming up with the three things I wanted him to know about that was a little more difficult. Do I mention the fact that he leaves coffee grounds on the counter, so every morning when I start to make the kids' breakfasts and lunches I have to clean up the whole coffee area first for fear of super over-caffeinated children all day long? Or do I mention that he's got shoes, slippers, and boots placed strategically all over our house, waiting for just the right moment to trip you? Or what about the fact that as soon as Bunny begins drifting off to sleep, he feels the need to call to me from the farthest room of the house, expecting me to call back in return and when I do not, he busts right into the room and asks why I'm not responding, in turn waking up the baby? Or maybe the fact that I ask him on Sundays what he needs from the supermarket on Monday mornings only to be told that there is nothing he can think of, until, Monday afternoon when he calls because he just remembered that he needs shaving cream, razors, and deodorant? The list of possibilities seems endless. Anyway, I ended up choosing three and said "Now it's your turn." My husband stared at me and laughed. "Honestly, besides your unnecessary concerns about your appearance, I got nothin'. All those little things things that are or can be annoying are actually quite funny. So, right now there is nothing I can think of that makes me uncomfortable or irritated, but I'll let you know when I think of something." Maybe Day #5 didn't go as planned. Needless to say, I'll be expecting a phone call later this afternoon.

I Just Called to Say....

Today's Love Dare is to call your spouse just to check in and see how they're doing. This one didn't work out so well last time because my hubby was at work. Although I think for most people it would work better on a weekday, today is perfect for us. In a few hours, Sug is going to go out into the freezing cold with a buddy of his and go digging for clams. Yes, in the freezing, cold, wet ocean. Perfect for a phone call and maybe even an attempt at making coffee for when he gets home. My day will consist of taking my girls to a birthday party at the local movie theater. Yes, warm, joy-filled focused children, then coming home to fresh dug clams. I'm certain today is going to be quite favorable all around.

Cha Ching

Wherever your time, energy, and money is spent is where your heart truly is. The Love Dare today is to buy something for my husband to let him know that I am thinking of him. This is going to be difficult. I need to buy Frontline and flea shampoo for the dog and cat and although I can convince myself that this would bless him, I kind of think they have something different in mind. Maybe I'll buy him a coffee on my way home from our CSA today. I'll have to pray about it a little more. I'm sure God knows the perfect thing.

Day #2, Again

Today for the Love Dare, I will be doing something kind for my husband. Now we just had an argument yesterday about my laundry method. I would rather do all the laundry in 1-2 days rather than 1-2 loads/day. The problem my husband has with my method is the fact that we don't have a folding table and I use the dining room (using the term loosely) table to fold and sort the laundry. Because I think it is a waste of time to put stuff away each time they come out of the dryer, I leave the clothes on the table until the whole job is done which is usually 2 days. So, today being laundry day, I will put the clothes away before he gets home and then proceed to put away each load as it is finished. It's going to be a huge pain in the hiney, but my husband will appreciate it and I get a little exercise in.
On another note, I've been having quite a few little flickers of thought about starting my own business. For me, it is a terrifying thought. Anything I have ever attempted before has always gone up in smoke. I have to admit, mostly they have been done my own control freak way instead of letting God lead, and the reasons and motivations are usually quite self focused. This time I'm going slow and letting God lead the way. First I need to finish my DONA birth doula certification which may/may not include becoming a childbirth educator and/or a lactation consultant. All of my massage stuff is in order, but I will need to brush up on business skills and break out the table for a few "getting back into the swing of things" freebies. Right now I'm just thinking, praying, listening, and waiting for His word in His time so I know that it will all be for His glory.

Here We Go Again

Now what better motivator to restart a prevoiusly failed effort but to join in with hundreds of others doing the same thing? Just this morning, my local Christian radio station (K-Love) started The Love Dare!!! Imagine that. If there was any doubt in me that God wants me doing this thing, that's long gone. Day One's dare is essentially following the advice of Thumper's wise father. To loosely quote Walt Disney's Bambi: (Thumper's Mother) "Thumper, what is it your father told you? (Thumper, looking super cute and not so innocent) "If you can't say something nice, then don't say nuthin at all". Great advice. I noticed this morning that the words I used towards Sug in a short conversation we had were not unkind or hurtful, but that my intention behind them was more than a little bit self righteous and in turn a jab of blame mixed with a tiny bit of a condescending tone. As soon as God revealed my true heart in the matter, which ended up being my need to feel validated, I called Sug and appologized for my snarkiness. I haven't spoken to him since but he should be home soon. Today may be harder than I thought, especially since my words are only a small portion of how I communicate. My thoughts and intentions are being brought into the light as well. As a woman who just lets it all go at the mouth, today will not be easy, but the Lord knows and He loves me and will help me to see what needs to change and provide the way to do it.