Christmas

I know this is out of order, but I found this at Christmas time and knew that this was how many of us mothers of young children spend a majority of Christmas morning. Enjoy!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1t90Bg9wAw. For some reason my links aren't working properly. Bummer.

Fashion

Fashion is one of the battles of life with my girls that I choose not to engage in. Not only do I feel that clothing is a way to express one's individuality, but I also like that they dress themselves. I have to admit that I do highly encourage modesty and frown upon the lack thereof. I will give my two cents on picture days and the like, but I will usually stay out of it. Today was one of those days that maybe needed a little more battle from my end. Bean's been out of preschool since last Thursday because at any given moment SOMEBODY was sick in our house and I just hate sharing cooties. So, being that it was her first day back, she decided she wanted to wear her jean dress. It has long sleeves and is really cute. It's a bit short for my liking so I usually suggest pants or tights and have been received quite well, until this morning. Yesterday was my day of illness and I asked my father to pick Bird up from school (she was the first one to be sick and is well over it) and grab us something for dinner. Not only did Poppy bring pizza (favorite), but he also brought each girl a huge tattoo. Bird's was a sparkly silver bird and Bean's was a flaming heart. Both girls decided to put their tattoos on their shins. Now I'm not sure if it is because the tattoos are huge or if their shins are so small, but Bean's entire left shin is covered with her flaming heart which is completely exposed due to the lack of pants or tights. Bean also decided to wear her red sparkly 'Dorothy' shoes to match the red in her tattoo. When she sat down to breakfast, she commented on how her 'butt was chilly'. When I told her she might reconsider the pants/tights subject, her response was a matter of factly stated "But then it won't be fancy." Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It is important for us girls to feel fancy, especially after being sick, isn't it? So off my 3 year old went to preschool with a miniskirt, tattoo and fancy shoes. Fashion beat Function today! Tomorrow? The dress will be donated to Goodwill.

Taking out the Trash

I've hit one of those times in my life where I can't handle any of it any more. I went away for the weekend with just the baby in order to get a little relaxation. When I returned home, I realized the difference between relaxing and resting. Relaxing to me means the absence of daily chores and household maintenance. Which is exactly what I did while visiting a very dear friend and her family. Resting to me (which is now obvious) is sleeping. Hours upon hours of lost sleep regained through a day or two of uninterrupted SLEEEEEEEEEP. Needless to say, with Bunny being with me, my version of rest did not occur. So, when I came home to all the usual mayhem and chaos, I couldn't handle it. Sug wasn't feeling well (we know how that goes). Bird has been feeling particularly rebellious and defiant, and Bean is out of control. Her screaming, whining and crying has been a constant for a few weeks now. My sleep deprived mama brain can only bear so much and the amount has been exceeded for a while. I would be lying if I said that I didn't consider abandoning it all. I had plotted a month long undetected escape. Unfortunately, the type A personality that thrives within my being got caught up in the logistics and I was violently thrashed back into reality and the need for change. It is time for our family to take out the trash. Potty mouths, violence, back talk, disobedience, whining and screaming are all being kicked to the curb. Last night, I watched about 6 episodes of Supernanny and began to really take notes on what seems to work and why. I also began to pray to know and understand my children better so that I can execute the proper guidance and discipline required to each as an individual. I will also be implementing a special Mommy time and Daddy time for each child each month. My time away with Bunny will be her Mommy Time for the month. Bird and I will be attending a clothes swap this Friday evening and Beanbag and I will be touring our CSA farm and how it operates on Sunday afternoon. As far as Daddy time is concerned, I really want them to figure it out on their own (says the control freak). I'm ready to change the atmosphere of this house from children vs parents to our family vs the world. Keep us in your prayers as I am well aware of the fact that I can't do this properly on my own.

Parenting 101

Don't you wish they had a class? Well, I guess they do. There are probably tons of classes, not to mention TV shows, books and movies on the subject. What most of these Parenting 101 venues fail to mention is that each and every kid, each and every parent, and therefore each and every family is different. Unfortunately for me, I love to study and read. In my childhood and growing up, I learned a lot about how NOT to raise children and how NOT to create a loving home. I am not mentioning this to be disrespectful or dishonoring to my mother, as she has admitted such and has asked to be forgiven for it. Granting her forgiveness may have been a whole lot harder to do if I hadn't already been a mother myself. Having a small outline of things NOT to do is a world away from having a small outline of things to do. So, my studious self decided to set out to finding the secret of parenting. No one resource had the answers I sought. Surprised? Believe it or not, I was. Even my beloved guide to life left me with more questions than answers. This weekend, we had the mother of all meltdowns at my house. The crying and screaming was atrociously embarrassing and the children were really misbehaving, too. They had us completely undone and pitted against one another. Not acceptable. We finally calmed down and held a family meeting. Mom and Dad are in charge by order of God Almighty Himself. We must discipline by order of His Holy Word. It may not be pretty, and we may not be making any friends in the process, but there is nothing to lead us to believe that being our child's friend is of any importance in the kingdom of God. Needless to say, we dropped the proverbial hammer. We started to bless the goodness and restrict the garbage. Right now, we are using money (dimes to be precise). This is very similar to the sticker system; good behavior earns stickers and when a specified amount is acquired, the child will receive a reward. We tried this, but my kids always ended up sticking the stickers to the floor or wherever and fighting over whose was prettier... So money it is. The children never actually receive the money, as I don't think they should be paid for good behavior, but they can use the money to 'buy' TV, computer or movie time. They can also share their dimes with their sibling in order to make a shared decision for something they couldn't afford separately. We're only 3 days deep, but with this system in addition to our scripture based "naughty wall", life has been totally bearable, dare I say enjoyable. This is what is working for us right now, in a month or two it could be different. I have faith that God will iron out all the details and when my children are old enough they, too, will be able to forgive their parents for not knowing exactly how to do it right. With God's refining power, by the time Jesus comes back, maybe someone in my lineage will have this parenting thing nailed.