Saturday, February 27, 2010

We Are Family...

Why is the family dynamic so difficult sometimes? Why is it that we hold the rest of the world to certain social standards, but because it's our sister we're talking about, the rules change? Is it because we think WE are so special that anyone related to us should be given a free pass? Is it because we feel more compassion for them than we would the average person? And why are we more apt to take from our own parents more so than a generous stranger or friend? Is it because our parents are supposed to take care of us and we feel it's our right? Is it because they didn't take as good of care of us as we had liked and we feel like they owe us? Is it because our parents make us feel guilty if we don't? Or, why can you have a great relationship with someone and as soon as they become your in-law, it seems like the line has been drawn? Why does it feel like we compare our marriages, children, parenting styles, and resources against theirs? Why do we even consider the amount of time they are spending with other members of the family? In the Bible, we are told to leave our birth families and cleave to the family that God has provided for us. I know from experience why it is necessary and called for. I also think of shows like Raymond, According to Jim, King of Queens, Roseanne... All of which the characters are still quite entangled in their extended family's lives. I then think of shows like Brady Bunch, Cosby Show, Seventh Heaven... that only focus on the specific family. I know it's only TV, but look how much more messy it is with the extendeds!!! Part of me is joking and being silly, but a small part of me wonders, wishes, and thinks about what it would be like to pour all the time and energy spent in these relationships elsewhere.......hmmmm....... Don't get me wrong, I love my family and my in-laws, I just don't get why it has to be so complicated sometimes.

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