Thursday, July 30, 2009

Sleep, The Grand Illusion

I can only imagine that every mother who has ever been, has been without sleep. In my estimation, I've probably had 20-25 nights of good long sleep in the past 5 years. Some days are easier to maneuver through than others. Most days, I hit a wall around 3. Thankfully, the kids are usually napping and all it takes is a couple of handfuls of chocolate chips and I'm back. Then there are days like today; the days that you actually cry because you're so tired, the days you change your plans because you know driving isn't a good idea, the days you try to force your children to watch hours upon hours of television so you can just sit and daydream about sleeping. No amount of chocolate or Diet Coke is going to be able to get this day back on track. So, now what? It's time to put it in autopilot. On days like today, the goal is to make it to nap time alive. I need to make sure everyone is fed while I peruse each room doing something that resembles straightening up just to keep moving. Unfortunately, these are the days that leave much room for error. Frustration, anger, and feelings of defeat and desperation fill days like today. I'm hoping that by getting it out here, in words, I will be able to divert Satan's glance and fall deeply into the well of God's grace. Pray for me!

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